Who will you bring to a deserted island?

Would you bring your spouse to a deserted island? Well you’d better take a deep think about it and be honest. Because if you are about to make a life changing decision you need to know the answer to that question. Do you want your spouse to join in or is it time to break up? I faced this question as my husband and I decided move to the wilderness. 

This is the six article in a series about how I went from an overworked and overstressed big city woman to a relaxed hill country ditto. 

In my previous articles, I told you how my husband and I took on a monumental life changing decision. We set out a goal of achieving financial freedom and tone down the frenetic tempo we ran our lives by. That meant selling our beautiful house in the suburbs and moving to the outback of Sweden.

The Critical Question

Would you bring your spouse with you to a deserted island?

Something unexpected that came from making a HUGE decision was how it affected my relationship with my husband. I know, looking back it shouldn´t  have been a surprise at all. But back then I didn’t see it coming.

Because here’s the thing; when deciding to sell your house, quit the job and move away from friends and favorite cafés; it also makes you to take an honest look at your relationship with your spouse.

You  have to ask yourself the critical question: Do I want to stay in this relationship or not.

Trust is the way

When you take off on a journy into a new and uncharted territory you´d better surround yourself with trust. It basically enhances your chance of survival. Trust in yourself off course but if you are in a relationship it is crucial that you trust your partner as well.

Trust that he or she will hold your hand when it feels scary and pour you a cup of tea when things get overwhelming. Will they stand by your side and do whatever they can to make this work? And HELLO;  are you willing to do the same for your partner?

A relationship can be on tracks – meaning it goes on and on and nothing new happens

It is imperative to be honest here! Because as you set out on a big adventure all your comfort is taken away and replaced with new inputs. Don’t be selfish and expect your partner to be there for you. You must lead the way and be extra nice, extra supportive and extra helpful – especially when you don´t feel like it.

Any relationship can be on tracks. And by that I mean that it goes on by itself; routines are filling up your days, weeks and years and it can be easy to forget each other. But oh-boy; that changes if you do what we did.

An awakening

Back then my husband and I had a comfortable life but the days passed by and all looked very much the same. Sometimes it was Christmas; sometimes it was summer and sometimes we went to Germany.

By moving away from everything we knew we suddenly became aware of each other again. Like when you wash your windows and you see things more clearly. We became more dependable on each other; our relation was awakened from its sleep.

We went from having a good relationship filled with routines and very few highs and lows – to be shaken up really good. Both of us had to be willing to set aside one’s own personal need to take care of the other one.

Would I have taken on this journey with a person that I did not fully trust and love?

Because that is love

By moving to a new place the only familiarity I could take with me was my husband and our dogs. All the comforting routines, friends and neighborhood would stay behind in the old life.

Ahead was all unchartered territory. This was not about starting a new chapter of my life; I was about to write a whole new book.

I knew the first many months it would be only him and me out there in the woods. We had to rely on each other, support each other in a way we never had needed earlier. There would be nowhere to go, no daily routines to hide behind. In front of us laid hard decisions and new experiences.

Would I have taken on this journey with a person that I did not fully trust and love? No.

The Theme Park

Life is a theme park – try as much as you can before it gets dark

Life to me is like a theme park; full of different rides and surprises.

You enter the park with a one day free ticket to all the rides. Do you try out the first rides at the entrance and hang there all day – or do you walk around the park and try different ones?

By exploring you may off course get on some rides that are much worse than the good ones at the entrance. But there is also a chance the rides you find will be way better. You will never now unless you try. However, there is one thing you can be sure of; your ticket is only valid for one day.

What will you do in the theme park? I for sure know I will try as many rides as possible.

Learn from my mistakes

  1. Don’t be an idiot about your finances. Know your incomes and expenses
  2. Learn to say ‘No’ to tv and social media. Spend time thinking
  3. Don’t be afraid of exploring your theme park

Previous articles in the series  2 Things to rememberEconomic Independence, Out of the Cave , The Greatest Lie  and You Might Not be Likeable

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